Phuket

Phuket (pronounced Poo-ket) is an island off the coast of Thailand.  Not a candidate for residency for me – I just wanted to see the place.  It’s known for its beauty and beaches and I wanted to get in some relaxation time.

First tip: do not take a taxi from the airport.  In fact, avoid taxis all over the island.  They are a complete rip-off.  Just take the bus.  My apartment was at the southernmost point of the island, about as far from the airport as you can get, and the taxi ride cost 1000 baht.  I only realized when I got to my AirBNB that the bus stops less than a ¼ mile away and costs 100 baht to get to the airport.  Yes, it takes longer and makes multiple stops, but it’s clean and runs regularly.  Just take the bus.

My AirBNB was another nice one with a decent view of the water.  The host greeted me there and showed me the place.  The shower is big enough to fit a family of four.  Fruit and water were provided along with beach towels and robes (nice). Two features of the place were new and unexpected.  First, a room cleaning service was provided every three days (which I didn’t really need – I don’t like people coming in and moving things in my hotel room let alone an AirBNB). And second, the power is charged separately from the prepaid AirBNB bill.  The host took me around the corner to a supply closet to show me the electricity meter.  We both took pictures of the meter to be compared to the readings at the end of my stay.  That was … different, but okay.

The apartment is located behind the row of restaurants and stores.  Crossing the busy street takes you to the water and the multiple stands of people trying to sell their services.  There are some restaurants and open markets with a longer walk, but that’s about it.  When there are more massage parlors and weed shops than grocery stores, it’s easy to pick up the vibe of this place.  It’s just meant for dissipated expats to sit around getting drunk and high all day.

Second tip: don’t stay in Rawai Beach.  It is pretty, but dull (unless you’re looking for weed or a massage).  The beach is not for swimming (something the host didn’t tell me until after I booked) because of all the boats and their moorings.  If you want a bit more excitement and choice of restaurants and activities, go for either Karon Beach or Patong Beach.  More on them later. 

I did discover my new favorite Thai food at a restaurant in Rawai.  Massaman Curry is a thick stew made with potatoes, onions, peanuts, and chicken.  I was given a huge bowl of it and was full long before I finished it.  Good stuff and not spicy like most Thai food.  I would happily order it again. 

The rain and rough winds made taking a water taxi or general boat ride a little iffy.  The nearby stand offered elephant experiences, guided tours, and trips to the islands but again, the weather was a factor.  It rained almost every day I was there, making planning difficult.

Third tip: don’t visit Thailand during the rainy season.  Bangkok and Chiang Mai weren’t so bad, but being that Phuket is an island, the rain there is just … sigh.  There’s so much of it.  I woke up one morning and it was pouring (ample excuse to go back to sleep).  Went to bed that night, after a relatively dry day, and it was pouring again.  After a while, the gray skies and all the water was just too gloomy to deal with.

Seeing old white men and their tiny Thai companions had become normal.  What I didn’t expect, on this island in particular, were the number of Russians around the place.  Their influence is so great here that many of the signs are in Thai, English, and/or Russian.  Hearing the language was one thing.  It was also seeing more than a few huge, muscled, highly tattooed men lumbering around.  I was sitting in a café one afternoon, just staring at the water while a Russian chick sat behind me, an old white man with a young Thai woman sat to my right, and there was the sound of a Muy Thai session coming from the studio next door.  Welcome to Thailand!

Oh yeah.  Thailand has dragons.  I knew that but was still surprised when I saw one in the water as I crossed a bridge.  I’m just glad I saw it from a distance.

Like I said earlier, the bus is a pretty reliable form of transit.  It even runs on the weekends with the same schedule.  Since Rawai was a bit of a dud, I took it up to Patong Beach, the party capital of the island.  About twenty minutes northwest of Rawai, Patong Beach is kind of a mini-Bangkok next to the water.  That’s where you’ll find many more busy streets, more cars, way too many motorcycles, and a lot more tourists and congestion. 

The beach is usable for bathers – at least partially.  There are also a bunch of businesses running on the beach that have it parceled out for their use only.  There are parasailing, jet skiing, and motorboat rentals scattered all along the beach. 

Patong is also where you’ll find the chain restaurants.  There was a massive Hooters (no pun intended) next to the Hard Rock along with the ubiquitous McDonald’s and Starbucks.  There was an entire street dedicated to bars and strip joints and the designs of some of those were … interesting.  When malls are dying all around America, Patong is home to a brand spanking new one, half-occupied and still under construction.  It consists of two separate buildings with a moat between them. It is impressive.  And not to worry.  There were plenty of weed shops and massage parlors.  The latter were always the easiest to spot even if you never saw a sign.  They were always fronted by a bunch of bored women in similar dress, calling out to people. 

Between Rawai and Patong is Karon Beach.  I didn’t get out to explore this one, but it looked to be the middle ground between the loud, crazy Patong and the quiet Rawai.  There was a decent beach, more for bathers than water sports, and the commercial section looked livelier. 

My flight to Singapore from Bangkok was early on a Monday.  It took 2 hours to get from Rawai Beach to the airport by bus and another 1 ½ hours to get to Bangkok.  No way I could do that all before my 10:40 flight, so I left Phuket a day early to give myself plenty of time.   The day did not start off well and it just kept getting worse.

I woke up and packed early enough to go out and get something to eat … only to find that most places were closed on Sunday. I walked up and down the road looking for anything edible (that wasn’t full of weed).  The Café Amazon was open but only sold muffins and coffee.  I then remembered a French Bakery off the main road and took the long walk to see if it was open.  Thankfully, it was.  I had a decent meal outside while listening to the chick at the table near me quietly chew her boyfriend out for the duration of my time there.  Dude must have been a serious glutton for punishment as he left the table at one point to go to his motorcycle only to come back for more berating.  Incidents like this really makes me glad to be a solo traveler.

A bus ride and short plane trip later and I’m back in Bangkok.  Getting a taxi from Don Mueang was a new kind of hell.  You are forced to go into this concrete tunnel down to a waiting room. They give you a number as soon as you enter and you have to watch the screens for your number, like at a bakery.  But there was no yummy scone waiting for me when my number came up.  After another wait at the desk (why call me if you don’t have someone ready to go?), I was shoved off on this grumpy man who led me to a cab.  He didn’t offer to help me with my bags or even look back to make sure I was following.  Nice start but it only got worse.

The desk had given him the address, so I didn’t bother.  Until, of course, we pulled up to the wrong place.  It didn’t look like the picture on Booking.com’s website and had a different name.  I tried to explain it to him, conscious of the language barrier, before showing him my phone.  The actual place was just up the street in this dodgy neighborhood near the airport (the only reason I chose it). As he got the luggage out of the trunk, I remained in the cab to carefully count out the money I owed him before handing it over.  I waited to make sure I’d given him the correct amount as it was dark and I’m still not comfortable with the money.  He counts it then tells me to get out.  Excuse you, jerk!  Please note that this was the same ^&(^hole who was trying to dump me at the wrong hotel.  It’s dark, it’s drizzling, I’m angry, hungry, and don’t know where I am.  Good times!

The place was better than I expected for the neighborhood and would do just fine for a single night.  Nothing more though, as the place was designed for people needing a place to stay for a quick trip to the airport in the morning.

I needed to put myself into a booze and carb coma – the second night in a row where I was compelled to do that.  The night before, the rain was getting me down so dinner was a pepperoni pizza, 2 Zombies, and French fries for dessert.  After I ate, I just sat and stared at the water.  Who needs weed when you have carbs?  (Damn.  That was a good coma.)

Following my phone, I ended up going the wrong way down a dark alley.  A lady sitting on a nearby porch called out ‘Madame?  Where are you going?”  I ignored her, realizing later that she was just trying to help the confused foreigner.  But by that point I was really tired of “Madame?” and people asking me to come into their shops, or restaurants, or if I wanted a massage.  I get that the calls come from underworked, bored-out-of-their-minds employees who need to attract people as part of their jobs, but enough already!  I’d had it with everyone trying to get my money, like I hadn’t already spent enough in Thailand.

After turning around and finding my way to the main road, I encountered more food stands but few actual restaurants on the street.  As it was still wet and I just wanted to get something quick, it was 7-11 to the rescue.  I got a prepared meal and an individual bottle of chilled wine and headed back.  The room had a microwave and wi-fi, so dinner and a show.

While the shower was good, the bed was a slab of concrete.  I got zero sleep and was up before the alarm.  I got dressed in record time to meet the airport shuttle arriving at seven.  Couldn’t wait to see the end of that hotel and Bangkok.

So.  To sum up my search for a new home, let’s put it this way: five weeks in Portugal and I didn’t want to leave.  After just three weeks in Thailand?  Where the plane at?

Chiang Mai

Like Ponta do Sol in Portugal, Chiang Mai has become a haven for digital nomads.  It’s easy to get a short-term visa, it has good and consistent wi-fi, and the city itself has set up many co-working spaces to accommodate the influx of temporary immigrants.  After hearing so much about the place, I had to spare some time to explore it.  After Madeira, this was my secondary relocation candidate.

After an hour flight from Bangkok, I grabbed a cab for the short trip to my new home for the week.  The host of my AirBNB met me at the place, a high-rise, modern-looking condo on a busy street.  Like the last condo in Bangkok, the place had its own security detail both inside and outside as well as a small coffee shop just inside the entrance.  The host led me through the lobby, through a service hallway (there were desks for arranging tours, providing rent and/or lease info, and arranging taxis and transfers to the airport), through the seemingly endless parking garage … where the hell was this place?  Finally, we came to a glassed-in mini lobby in Building B with a seating area just a few feet away from the elevators and stairs.  My place was on the twelfth floor at the end of the hall – a maddeningly long way to walk after a tiring travel day with all my luggage, but it turned out to be a nice place.

The host was amazingly thorough in her preparations.  She’d laid out a book full of suggested sites to see while in the city, instructions on the appliances, and all her contact info.  She’d even provided snacks, water, and laundry detergent, more than I’d seen from pretty much all the hosts so far.  I was impressed.

After missing out on the pool in Bangkok, I made sure to spend some time in the rooftop pool.  I even had it to myself for a while.  Very nice on a hot day.

Setting out to see the city, I was immediately struck by the small-town vibe of the place.  Sure, there are the same massage parlors and weed shops interspersed with restaurants and souvenir shops that you find in Bangkok.  There was still too much traffic on the roads, fewer taxis, but more of these red trucks that were good for moving a group of people.

At the same time, the sidewalks are mostly deserted during the day.  I kept wondering that first day if it was a holiday or something because I often had the sidewalk to myself.  I did notice a bunch of girls in school uniforms which made me think that Thailand has year-round school. There were the usual food carts scattered around and tended by bored-looking Thai people. The place feels kind of sleepy and not in a good way.

But, just like Bangkok, everything changes when the sun goes down.  The Night Bazaar occurs just down the street from my apartment and it seems like the entire town is in the streets.  They’re selling you stuff, or putting on live performances, or just shopping at the numerous stalls that are set up on the streets.

This was by far the strangest display I saw.  It’s not like you can take any of this stuff on a plane and the country won’t let you ship weapons so … I guess you just have to use your throwing star locally then leave it in Thailand?  Somehow, I think that would negate coming to a peaceful country in the first place.

Elephants are big here.  They are all over the place in the form of statues, paintings, bas relief images on walls.  One of the big tourist draws are the numerous elephant sanctuaries where you can take pictures and interact with them.  I couldn’t resist buying a couple pairs of comfy, airy pants with the animals emblazoned on them.  The pants are sold everywhere and many people walking around wore them.

A bit about the food.  Just as in Bangkok, it seems like every nationality is represented in the food.  I had something called shakshouka for breakfast one morning.  It is two fried eggs in tomato sauce with some frybread and a small salad originating from North Africa and the Middle East. I saw it on the menu and was intrigued.  It was surprisingly tasty.

Continuing to explore food for breakfast, I wandered into one of the street markets and found a restaurant nestled among the clothing stalls.  I ordered the only thing that sounded familiar, chicken soup, and this was the result.  A little intimating (how are you supposed to handle the chicken foot?  Is the brown cube of jelly supposed to be eaten or is it just there for flavoring?) but not a bad meal.

I found this great bakery catering to the American expats called Sunday Bakery.  Had a yummy buttermilk scone and a sparkling peach tea.  A nice snack that really hit the spot.

(Seriously?  I swear this place is haunting me.)

As there is a Hard Rock Café there, I had to buy my shirt.  They have live music at night which just adds to the cacophony of the Night Bazaar (also in walking distance from my apartment, the café is right in the middle of the Bazaar).

After a week and a half of passing by numerous massage parlors (how on Earth are you supposed to pick one over another? What makes one stand out over the others?) I chose a place that looked a bit like what I’m used to in America.  There were no bored masseurs sitting out front trying to wrangle customers.  This was a quiet place off the main road with an actual receptionist.  I told her what I wanted and (surprise) she could fit me in right away.  After a few minutes, I was shown to a room and told to disrobe.  That’s it.  I didn’t have to provide my name, address, next of kin, credit rating, or blood sample like I would in America.  It’s just come on in, get nekkid, and let this surprisingly strong Thai woman put her greasy hands all over me.  It was a good massage, if a bit strange.  The chick was all over the table, kneeling over me (not stepping on my back, mind you) and even putting me in a full nelson to crack my back.  A very thorough session that had me a little dizzy afterwards.  All for about $55 USD.

My last full day in Chiang Mai and I decided to do some more exploring on foot.  I crossed a couple of bridges and ended up in the less touristy part of town.  A tuk-tuk driver passed by and asked if I needed a ride.  I declined, saying I was just off exploring.  Then it started to rain and I regretted that decision.  Not to worry.  The driver had circled the block and met me again as I was walking past.  He pitched some of the touristy things he could take me to at a price of 400 baht for a couple of hours.  Since it was raining and I was far from the apartment – sure, dude I don’t know.  Drive me further away from the familiar in this foreign country in the rain.  I’ll just have to trust that you won’t abandon me somewhere (or worse).

The driver introduced himself as Nui then took my picture to send to his wife.  I was only the third customer he’d had that day and he was just about to pack it in.  He wanted to let his wife know that he wouldn’t be home right away as he had an actual fare.  He asked me what I had seen of the city and was shocked that I hadn’t visited the temples or the elephant sanctuary (feels exploitative to me – try watching the documentary Blackfish and see it as anything else.  These animals aren’t on this planet to entertain us.)

It started to rain in earnest as we headed out of the city.  Being a vehicle in Thailand, the rickety tuk-tuk was equipped with plastic sheets on the sides to keep out the rain.  But I just had to be macho when he first offered to lower them.  By our first stop, the seat on either side of me was covered in water.  I just tried to stay in the middle as much as possible. 

Instead of the touristy stuff, he took me to a series of warehouse just outside of town.  Oh.  Now I get it.  He must get a kickback for bringing people out there when normally a tourist wouldn’t know anything about these places.  The first place housed two sections, one for silver jewelry and the other for clothing and household goods.  The jewelry section was huge with multiple display cases and a very attentive woman watching to see what drew my eye so she could take it out.  There’s a reason I had her full attention as I was the only mark – I mean customer – in the place.  I got out of there with an elephant ring that is quite nice.  To someone who doesn’t wear rings.

The second part of this factory was run by a slippery Persian man who showed me scarves.  Then bedding.  Then rugs (which immediately made me think of Zaza).  The man was a damn good salesman and got me to spend way more than I had ever planned on a couple of scarves and a woven wall-hanging.  He was still trying to sell me stuff while I was heading out the door.

The next stop was another warehouse full of gems, statuary, and more jewelry.  This time I had three ladies following me around as they had no other customer in the building.  Within minutes of arriving in the building, I found myself sitting on a stool while two Thai women scouted around for my holes.  And being the boring grandma that I am, the reality was not as nasty as it sounds.  I had noticed a pendant that I liked and asked about the matching earrings.  They took them out for me to try on and, after two years of quarantine, I couldn’t get the things into my ears.  The ladies, being ever accommodating of the rare customer, sat me down and spent the next five minutes trying to get the jewelry in my ears while muttering to each other in Thai.  I had to laugh.  My life has gotten so weird(er)!

Needless to say, once they got the things in my ears, they had a sale.  I took the jewelry and headed back to the tuk-tuk.  Nui drove me to the last place on the agenda, a massive leather factory.  This attendant of yet another building devoid of customers showed me the different kinds of hides that the factory dealt in, then showed me to the handbags.  I had no intention of buying anything, but once again, I spotted something I liked and the attendant jumped at the chance to show me.  For some reason, I was drawn to anything made from elephant.  The woman quickly pointed out that the animal had not died for me.  Instead, it had died of natural causes and then been promptly chopped up and made into accessories! (I’m paraphrasing). I ended up with a nice backpack and a matching wallet.

After that, I was more than done with shopping.  I was already trying to figure out how to get all this stuff in my bag when Nui offered to take me somewhere else.  I don’t think so.  I asked him to take me back to the condo instead, pleased that he didn’t try to overcharge me or change the price he’d first quoted (I’d been warned about scammers).

Final verdict on Chiang Mai … meh.  Being a sensitive, how a place feels is very important to me.  As strange as it is, I felt more at home in Istanbul than I did in Chiang Mai.  And I felt like an alien in Istanbul.  The Thai people are wonderful, they speak more English than the Turks, food is cheap and plentiful, and the US dollar goes a long way.  But … I don’t know.  I just don’t think it’s a good fit for several reasons.

Not to get too graphic on you, but I had constipation twice while in the city.  I can’t even remember the last time I had this issue – in fact, I usually have the opposite problem because of all the water I drink.  I knew not to drink the water there, a habit I’ve picked up from the last two countries I’ve visited.  But something there, whether the water or the food, did not agree with me. 

The weather was yet another issue.  Excess rain depresses me under normal conditions, but when you have a place that has an established rainy season (along with a dry and a burning season), you know it’s going to be an ongoing problem.  I understand that the rain is more of an issue when you have to commute or regularly go out in it.  Being in a WFH situation is different than being a tourist, but I could still get just as depressed while sitting in my home office.

Also, I was walking back from dinner after dark one night and something raced across my path.  I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a Christmas elf.  That was the first time in my travels that I’d encountered a living rode (I did see a dead one in Amsterdam – ew.) and is yet another strike against this place.

Chiang Mai is a nice place to visit, but I don’t think I can live there.

Bangkok Part 2

I met an expat from Canada while having breakfast one morning.  She is a digital nomad who’s been in Bangkok for the last five months.  When I informed her that I was test-driving Thailand as a new home, she was full of helpful info on where I should go next and what it was like to live in the city.  She confirmed that her rent and utilities were very low and she was able to skirt around the issues of gaining permanent residence by leaving the country just before her visa expired and then having a new one issued upon her return.  Something I hear is a common practice in the country.

The Buddhist religion is woven into every aspect of this society.  There are temples everywhere (again, not on my to-do list for sightseeing) and shrines seem to pop up every few feet.  There are also multiple pictures of the royal family erected in front of buildings.  Disparaging the family in any way will result in severe penalties.  I chose not to find out what those were as Thai prisons are infamously terrible places to be.

I cannot get a handle on the Thai money.  I don’t know if I’m still in Turkish mode or what, but the money confuses me.  I have to squint at it for several seconds before handing out the right bills, even with the different colors.  For reference (this changes on the regular, but this is the conversion rate as of this writing)

1 USD = 35.21 Thai Baht

1 USD = 25.12 Turkish Lira

1 USD = 1.79 Bulgarian Lev

1 USD = .91 euro (Greece, Portugal, Dublin, and The Netherlands among others)

As for the language … wow.  Thai, for the record, is considered one of the hardest languages to learn for foreigners.  On this journey, I’ve picked up a few words in Portuguese, Greek, and Turkish.  I didn’t even try to learn any Gaelic, Bulgarian or Dutch.  Thai is the worst of all to get a handle on.  I can’t even say thank you with any confidence.  It’s just a tough one.  Thank goodness the Thai people are very patient and accustomed to dealing with ignorant foreigners.

I didn’t realize it was Pride Month until I saw all the rainbow decorations.  Apparently, Thailand is a haven for the LGTBQ+ community.  The more you know.

I don’t know that I saw many gay couples, but I did see a bunch of older white men with young Thai women.  Way to live that cliché, guys.

Durian is a famously pungent fruit sold in SE Asia and it is all over the place here.  Smell it once and you will never forget it.  Not only is it sold fresh, but in dried and potato chip form (Asian countries will turn any flavor into a snack food).

7-11 rules here.  You can usually find one every few feet and that’s just on the side of the road you happen to be walking on.  They’re easier to spot than the grocery stores, most of which don’t even have storefronts as they are located in the basements of malls.

Bangkok is famous for more than just debauchery.  Shopping is big here and you have multiple options for spending all your money.  There are the street markets, the night markets (the daytime markets on turbo), and several megamalls.  The first one I went to was called Terminal 21.  

Easily accessed by BTS (the elevated train that runs the length of Sukhumvit), this mall is incredible.  I love the theming of the place.  The mall is on six or seven levels and each level has a location theme.  Rome, San Francisco, Tokyo, Istanbul (freaking Turkiye, man!), and more are represented in the mall while each escalator acts as the ‘flight’ to that city.  You even pass through a fake metal detector when you first enter the building.  It’s pretty impressive.

My last night in the city, I ventured out to yet another mall.  IconSiam is a different beast altogether from Terminal 21.  It’s more like three malls all smashed together.  One part is the posh section with the high-end stores like Fendi, Mark Jacobs, and Chanel. And Tesla and Porsche.  Why on Earth are there car dealerships inside a multi-level mall?

The second part on the lowest floor is more like the Bangkok street markets, a chaotic arrangement of little food stalls, vendors and live entertainment. 

The third part is literally across the main street.  I don’t know that it’s officially part of IconSiam, but it might as well be.  The two buildings are connected by a raised platform that leads to the train station.

The back of the main building leads right to a pier.  From here you can get a water taxi or take dinner time cruises. 

The place was packed that evening with people getting on and off the cruises, hanging out at the cafes, or taking pictures among all the lights.  At one point the fountains came on and put on a light show.  It was all pretty cool.

(By the way, I don’t know who this chick is, but she stepped in front of me while I had my phone out, so I snapped her picture.  Why not?)

As for living in Bangkok, I don’t know.  The vibe, like I mentioned is interesting.  The American dollar goes a long way, you don’t even have to know how to cook to eat very well there, and English is widely spoken.  The city is walkable and the public transport system is excellent with the BTS and the abundance of taxis and buses.  The weather is … challenging.  You’re either wet from the heat or from the rain.  I'm still leaning towards Portugal, I think.  I don’t know if it’s because I went there first or did the most research on moving there, but it’s still the place I’m feeling the most.  I already consider Madeira, and not Georgia, home at this point.  I’m not sure if that will change during the rest of my stay in Thailand, but only time will tell.

 

One Night -- I mean Week in Bangkok

A clichéd title, but hey, I am a child of the 80’s.  Not to mention the fact that that song was running though my head the entire time I was in the city.

That wasn’t the only way my head was messed up upon starting my three weeks in Thailand.  My last night in Istanbul still loomed large in my memory for multiple reasons.  More on that later.

First, getting to Thailand.  I’d been through Istanbul airport twice by this point so I thought I knew what to expect.  Ha!  The second you enter the departures section of the place, they scan your bags.  I initially thought that this was a time-saving measure and a lot less intrusive than the full security scan.  No, this was just the preliminary scan.  You still have to go through security later just like with any other flight.  This is just an extra annoyance since one security check isn’t enough fun.

My first flight was mercifully short at 3 ½ hours.  Then it was time for what I knew was going to be a long layover in Kuwait airport.  It immediately got off to a bad start.  Coming off the plane, they make you go through security.  Huh?  Everything got scanned again and they even made me turn on my laptop and tablet.  When the agent told me to leave those items out, I heard him, but had no idea why he’d ask me to do that.  He had to tell me twice more before I understood him.  Still don’t understand the need to turn the machines on (again, I was coming off a flight and was only in the airport for a transfer), only to immediately turn them off once the staff were satisfied that they were actual computers and not mock-ups.  How paranoid can you get?

The airport was deserted when my plane landed, but over that almost 6-hour layover, the place filled up fast.  Why so long a layover when that’s not what I signed up for?  Because mine was the only flight that got delayed.  Great. 

I had way too much time to wander the airport, noting just how much it was designed for this region of the world.  I know nothing about Kuwait but judging by the number of head scarf/burka wearing women, I’d say I was still in deeply Muslim territory.  There is a separate meditation/prayer room for men and women on each floor (also in Istanbul airport).  This sign was posted by the bathroom sink across from a separate stall with a squat toilet, something I’d never seen before.

It was another seven hours to Thailand, then a good hour of wait time in the airport.  I wasn’t scheduled to get to my AirBNB until 2 and I’d arrived before noon.  The host texted me that the room was ready early, so I grabbed a taxi and headed in.  The taxi driver was another beaut – he kept talking into this phone in Thai (not a conversation, mind you, he was the only one speaking) while weaving in and out of traffic.

Just as Istanbul was multicultural chaos, Bangkok is chaos: Asian style.  They drive on the other side of the street and the other side of the car. Traffic is crazy with a massive number of motorcycles weaving in and out between the cars, in the shoulder, in the opposite lane as they’re passing.  Again, it was time to keep my head down and hope we didn’t have an accident.

Good thoughts worked again and we made it to the condo in one piece.   The gated high rise has a pool and a gym on the first floor that I could access (but didn’t).  The host left instructions for me to get in and I managed to make my way to the very nice apartment.  A small studio designed with Asian efficiency with everything you need in it.  

 

Covid still has its sickly sway over this country.  Understandable since Asian countries, with their huge, densely populated cities, have dealt with more than their fair share of outbreaks.  Masks are still widely worn here, even on the streets.  Since I didn’t want to stand out any more than I do as a single, almost six-foot tall, black woman(!) roaming the streets, I also put on the mask.  That was not an easy habit to maintain because of the heat.

I knew I was coming to Thailand during the rainy season (also the off-season for tourism), so I was always prepared for a downfall by carrying my umbrella.  But the heat was much more than I was ready to handle.  As soon as I would step out of an air-conditioned building, my glasses would fog up and I’d start sweating.  By the end of the day, I was a damp, sticky mess.

Part of the sweating resulted from just getting out of the condo.  My building was the furthest back from the road of the three buildings in the complex (you can search online for Chambers On Nut for more pictures).  It was nice and quiet because of this, making it easy to forget that the complex is located just a short walk from Sukhumvit Road, the main drag of the city.  To get to that road, you have to get off the side road by hugging the nearest walls on the rarely-there shoulder or the short, intermittent sidewalks while remembering that Thais drive on the opposite side of the road and praying you don’t get clipped by a passing motorcycle. Just trying to get to the main road was enough of a chore to get the sweat pouring.

Part of the reason this side road was so busy was because of the motorcycle taxi stand on the corner.  At any given time, there would be a line of dudes on either side of the road waiting for fares.  Then, with a helmet-less passenger clinging to them for dear life, they would speed off around that corner.  I avoided at least three near-collisions with guys doing this.  I still don’t know why there aren’t more dead bodies on the city streets.

If you’re familiar with the Murray Head song referenced in the title of this post, you know it mentions the bars, temples, and massage parlors all over the city.  That song was released in the 80’s and nothing has changed in that regard.  Walking down Sukhumvit, getting a lay of the land, it is indeed one massage parlor after another.  Mixed in with those are the restaurants, bars, and the occasional weed shop.  And in front of all of those are small carts of people selling all kinds of things; fresh fruit, smoothies, Thai sticks of various meats, desserts – you name it.  No really, you name it.  I passed by all these carts completely baffled as to what I was looking at most of the time.

I am not a foodie.  I didn’t go there to eat.  That and the sheer volume, variety and availability of food is rather intimidating.  Eating in Thailand for me was a lot of ‘I don’t know what this is, but I’m gonna put it in my face.  Hey!  That’s not too bad!’  I did try some street food, but mostly stuck with restaurants where at least I had a written description of what I was about to eat.

The number of carts multiplied exponentially once night fell.  The night markets would crop up everywhere selling food as well as clothing, shoes, and household appliances.  There were even a bunch of ladies doing manicures on the street.  Only at night, though.  Once daylight came, all the structures would be dismantled only to go right back up the next night.

Once again, I can’t give you any firsthand experience with the infamous nightlife of Bangkok.  Obviously, I wasn’t there to get blackout drunk and troll for Thai women, but even I could feel the energy of the place.  While there are people walking around and handling their business during the day, it feels like the city is just recovering from the previous evening and getting ready for the night to come. That’s some powerful stuff and I can see the attraction.