Singapore

 

I’m kind of obsessed with the movie Crazy Rich Asians.  I’ve seen it multiple times and never get tired of it.  It is straight up pornography – food porn, rom-com porn, rich porn, Singapore porn (Singaporn) and I love it.  So, for this reason, I just had to visit Singapore where the movie is set.

Singapore is an easy 2 ½ hour flight from Bangkok with the added benefit of flying into Changi Airport, which is considered one of the best airports in the world.  Well, not so much when you first arrive.  It just looks like any other airport with large airy spaces.  Immigration was the first area where the airport stands out in an interesting way.  The arriving passengers are guided to a bunch of kiosks where you have to put in your passport info.  A couple of people are around to guide you through the process (very appreciated as I did have some problems).  The screen asks a bunch of questions about nationality and point of origin and at the end you are granted a 90-day visa (of sorts) to stay in the country.  A copy is emailed to you along with the picture they ask you to take of the screen.

Then it was on to transport to the hotel I’d booked for the week.  No taxi this time – I was encouraged to take the MRT, Singapore’s insanely well-organized public transit system.  I thought I’d have to buy a ticket or fuss with machines until the attendants told me to just press my debit card to the scanner at the gate and voila!  The gate let me pass.  No tickets or tokens to worry about.  Just scan your card to get out at your destination and the system charges you accordingly.  How’s that for convenient?

As for the rest of the trip to my hotel … not so much.  I got out at the recommended stop only to find it pouring rain.  I waited around for it to slacken up then had to wrangle all my bags, while holding my umbrella up to try to keep my phone dry while I traversed unfamiliar streets.  Oh, and there was a lot of traffic and construction that closed off some of the sidewalks.  And, sure, let’s go up some hills because I needed more of a challenge.  Then I dropped my umbrella in the road while I dashed across.  I heard a car honking trying to alert me, but it wasn’t until a nice man on the other side of the road pointed it out that I realized what happened.  He offered tips to get it and told me that people would stop for me.  In hindsight, I shouldn’t have risked my life for a cheap replaceable umbrella, but … I was new to the country, it could rain again, and I don’t like to litter.

Finally found my way to the D’Nova hotel and, well, I hated the place on sight.  I know that capsule hotels are popular in Singapore.  The rooms in those hotels are basically drawers to store people at night with a communal bathroom out in the hall.  Really not to my taste.  I looked for AirBNBs and hotels in the area, but the only place I could find that was even remotely affordable was this place.  It’s a slight step up from a capsule hotel, but the room is still just a glorified jail cell.  There is no chair, no desk (only a narrow shelf), no drawers, no closet, only one outlet and a 'privacy curtain' over the sink that offended me wherever it was situated.  The only benefits over a prison cell were that I didn’t have a roommate and I could leave whenever I wanted.  And it was clean.

The hotel is located on a side street from two main thoroughfares.  It’s surrounded by other tiny-room hotels and a lot of bars and restaurants, all of them stupidly expensive.  To add insult to injury, the two-high-rise complex of the Carlton hotel is located just across the street.  Rooms there go for around $600 a night.  Any questions why I’m staying in the dump?

The Carlton was just one example of the expense of this city.  Just down the street from my hotel is a huge, ornately decorated, white mall full of high-end stores and restaurants requiring reservations.  Down the street is yet another mall, a mix of big name-brand stores and more affordable options. Just like in Portugal, where you could throw a stick and hit a café, in Singapore that same stick would land you in a mall.  This country really wants your money.  The malls here are huge, beautiful, vibrant, and crowded places where everyone meets.

The City Hall MRT station is located in that mall, called Raffle City. It pissed me off to realize that this station is closer to the hotel than the one they recommended.  It could have saved me a lot of hassle to know that sooner.  But no matter.  This mall, with its MRT station, huge food court and grocery store on the lowest level, became my main point of reference in getting around the city.  Very helpful as I am prone to wondering aimlessly without keeping track of how to find my way home.

The next day was bright and sunny. Thanks to the movie, I knew just what sights I wanted to see first.  My phone took me on a circuitous route to get to the famous Merlion statue.  This image is on a lot of the merchandising and is so popular, there is a mini lion right in front of that statue and a whole park designed around it.  And just across the harbor is the iconic hotel where the final scene of Crazy Rich Asians takes place.  Now just to get there.

That is a looooong walk to get to those buildings.  It means going past a concert hall, an outdoor stadium with a running track, up some stairs, across a pedestrian bridge and into The Shoppes at Marina Sands Bay.  All in SE Asian summer heat.  Oy.

This mall is just … Huge.  Beautiful.  Crowded.  Way too rich for my blood.  There’s Fendi next to Marc Jacobs next to Van Cleef and Arpels next to Hermes next to … yet another store I didn’t even bother to go into.  Like I said, Singapore wants your money.  It wasn’t going to get mine, though.  And judging by the empty hands of most of the people I saw walking around as well as the bored workers standing around in those chi-chi stores, Singapore wasn’t getting anybody else’s money either.  The only place doing big business was the massive food court on the ground floor.

Technically, you don’t have to enter the mall to reach the hotel.  But, as I was soon to discover, everything in Singapore seems to be connected as long as you know how to get there.  This is the land of escalators and underground tunnels.  I wandered around, marveling at everything I saw.  This mall has a canal.  And like in Venice, you can rent boat rides after you get tired of the casino and the interactive light display near the food court.

I stumbled upon some escalators that led to the reception area of the hotel.  If you go through there (very crowded with people checking in), out the door and around the corner, you’ll find another set of escalators that will lead you to the ticketing area to get to the top of the hotel.  For about 30 SD, you get your picture taken (you have the option to pay for a copy later) and go up the elevator to the 56^th floor.  The boat shaped structure at the top of the three towers features a concession stand and a restaurant (only for guests of the hotel) and gives you a killer view of the city. 

Singapore is truly beautiful.  A very modern, safe, and clean place.  Seeing it from atop the towers was a great overview before really getting into exploring the city.

And this, friends, is how I spent my 4^th of July, 2023.