Well … I got laid off last week.

 And I just ‘celebrated’ my twenty-year anniversary at my current employer in March.  How quickly things change.

I knew this was coming.  There had been a lot of changes imposed on my group in a very short time to cut costs.  I’d heard the rumblings of a recession for months now.   So, when the boom was lowered, it wasn’t a shock.  But still there are … feelings.

Admittedly, I was getting burned out.  I’d been in my position for ten years and was ready to move on.  The changes within the position in the last year did not help anything.  I knew it was time (waaaay past time) to get out, but I kept dragging my feet.  It was only when I started to get the layoff vibes in September that I started making plans.

My first move was to declutter the house with a plan to sell it.  Please note:  I love my house.  This is my first home, I’ve been in it for 19 years come December, and I have been very happy here.  But, since I had no interest in immediately jumping into a new job, there was no way I could maintain this house for very long.  The declutter part has been a bittersweet experience.

I have seriously been considering going expat or a while now.  I’d originally wanted to sell the house years ago and move to Australia.  But considering that I made this decision right before the 2008 housing crisis … and those plans kinda fizzled out.  Cut to 12 years later and that impulse to leave America is even stronger than before.

I changed my mind about Australia for various reasons then switched to New Zealand.  That idea died when I saw a report on Kiwi TV that said expats were leaving the country in droves because of the expense and the hard path to citizenship.  Then I began to focus on Portugal.  I have heard good things about the climate and the quality of life that has already attracted a large portion of black Americans to move there. 

Acquiring a visa takes some time though, and I was thinking I would have more of it before the layoff.  This job officially ends on 12/31/22 which has me scrambling to establish a workable timetable.  I canceled my planned scouting trip to Portugal for November and instead sent my passport to get renewed.  It expires in July 2023 and I wanted to make sure it got back to me before I put the house on the market.  I don’t know if I’ll have enough time to apply for the D7 visa before the first of the year, so I hatched a new plan.

I’ve also been researching the idea of a grownup gap year (my brain is just swimming with ideas).  I’ve found that there is a whole community of black women who took several months off to just travel and get their heads right.  I didn’t realize until the last month or so that I could really use a break, a time to rest and relax before finding another job.   Now, I’m trying to figure out an itinerary, looking for employment opportunities, packing up the house, searching for my medications overseas, picking up some Portuguese (Madeira would be my first stop), doubting myself every step of the way, feeling overwhelmed, excited, sad ….

Like I said.  There are feelings.